I'm amazing. I ran a half marathon. I can do anything.

And that includes quitting smoking.

Let's talk about this for a second shall we? I started smoking when I was 16. Compared to all my friends, I was a late bloomer. Why did I start? It wasn't peer pressure. I think I was just bored and rebellious. 

So let's fast forward. I've never tried quitting. Well, once. And it was because my boyfriend at the time wanted me to. Boy, was that a week. I went 4 days. I got my monthly visitor, broke up with my boyfriend then started again. We got back together when I started thinking clearly again. My parents sent me back to college with a carton and said never try to quit when you're home. 

After that, I never thought about quitting again. I know myself. I know how head strong and stubborn I am. If I decide to do something, I do it and I don't look back. Until my mind was ready to quit, there would be no attempts because I knew there was no point. When I was ready, it was going to happen. End of story.

Monday morning, I decided I'm ready. And the thought scares the hell out of me. I haven't even started the process and I'm already shaky. My body knows I'm not playing around (or it's just pissed because I made it do planks last night). It still feels the after effects of the last time I wasn't playing around. It knows. It's time. We had a good go of it. 13 years is a long time. I don't think I've ever held on to anything that long. 13 is my lucky number, after all. It's a perfect sign. I ran 13.1 miles, I can do this.

The date is April 18th. The day of the Boston Marathon but more importantly, it's the anniversary of my Nanny's (my Aunt and godmother) passing. I'm doing this for me, for her and for my nieces. I never want them to go through what I went through 2 years ago, if they don't have to.

This is also 3 days before I fly home. I'm sure when I tell my parents, they will be less than pleased I decided to do this right before I see them, but we will get passed it. 

I'm not doing this alone this time. I signed up for NYC quits and I have a box of Nicotine patches. I do remember the last time I wore one (on my 14 hour flight to Europe) and I don't think I wanted to kill anyone. We will see. I've also heard amazing things about Chantix, but I'm really nervous about messing with chemicals in my brain. We'll see how the patches work out. If it comes down to it, I will do just about anything. This needs to end. 

I am strong. I ran a half marathon, for the love of Christmas! I can do anything.

I can be a non-smoker. 

So, now this blog will not only include my journey through running and all the crap that goes with that, but it will also include my journey to becoming a non-smoker. Lord help us. You might want to quit following now. . . .